Are you in a hurry with him today? Are you yelling again? You know you are right, but you can't accept it anymore? When parents are busy, it is good to learn to calm their temper.
You may be busy preparing dinner for us to greet guests, you may appear because our public servants must be able to make a very important call right away, you may finally be able to use this rare rest time to develop and clean up the messy children Wardrobe, or, you are driving a child with a problem to drive safely on the most complicated roads in traffic management ... At this time, you need to be most rationally designed to cooperate with you through a gentle lamb. However, for a big and small stubborn voice, the student suddenly answered you: "No, I don't!"-Why don't such a big child learn that they are obedient when you have the least effort to deal with him , Give you a problem? ! There was a lot of anger straight up in your head, and you yelled at him: "# ￥ ※ @ ...... !!!" Of course, if your emotional ability is not for such a nervous and irritated situation, you will not say "Some words".
However, we are still the one who can be influenced by the situation and mood. Afterwards, you may be a little too regretful ...
So, how can you stay as calm as possible during a tense moment? In addition, a child psychologist and medical doctor Linden D. Wo said: “Yelling is actually a strong reaction to frustration. In fact, when parents do not have a more effective way to discipline and discipline their children, they will lose their temper unconsciously. Consider how to keep their children away from annoying behaviors at such times.
"In my busiest time, even if the child is a little glitchy, it will yell at him, how can I control my temper?"
Stress will magnify the fault in your eyes. Maybe we are just one because he refuses to put on his coat, and you feel "uncontrollable". In fact, for the development of children of three or four years old, this kind of disobedience is the "fault" that his age structure can be allowed. Therefore, the key issue is mainly to ask your own temper through how parents should learn management control. Children of this working age are also at the stage of learning to correctly understand social emotions and control emotions. The power of parents ’role models is the most convincing.
If you want to be angry, go where
I was about to get angry, instead of asking why they were angry, because the anger soon disappeared. When you feel that you are out of control and ignite quickly, you may soon go to a deserted place.
When my emotional development is not good, I will deliberately get off work late. After sending away all the patients, close the door of the clinic and sit quietly alone, or close your eyes and relax, or listen to student music, waiting for our emotions to slowly calm down. If the company returns home with a bad emotion, even if it does not make mistakes in the children's learning, they will get angry for no reason.
At home, when I felt I was going to be angry, I said frankly to the children: "Mom will be angry. I will talk later!" Then I quickly entered the bathroom ..
I saw my face flushed in the mirror, so I rinsed my mouth, and then went to the toilet to sit quietly on the toilet at a glance. After a while, I will feel no need to be so angry! Therefore, the emotion gradually calmed down. Fight the fire, and then go out to face the child, there is no positive impulse. Going to the supermarket or walking in the park is a good way.
Parents who grow up with people who are often angry will be seriously harmed unconsciously by students, and will also show lack of self-confidence in learning, are not good at controlling and managing their emotions, are easily angry at others, and often Feeling melancholy, possessing Chinese resistance, nervousness, indifference and other personalities, he will also hold a negative attitude towards everything in this world.
And these are often angry, or will not control their emotions, the behavior of the child's parents grow up, they are not happy.
Angry parents are thinking every day, please stop your abuse, because no matter what you send to the fire, the world will not change in the slightest. However, the moment you decide to calm down and be as angry as possible, the life of you and your child will change accordingly.
you need to:
In order to control your anger at this time, you can use a simple and feasible method: tell yourself "stop!" When you want to explode! Stop! and many more! It may be silly to say a voice, but it may be more effective! Then, take a deep breath and it will help your volcano not erupt for a while. Then tell the child, "I need to calm down!" Even if you are in an extremely busy situation, it is important to stay calm and calm for a few seconds. Drink a glass of water or wash your face and breathe through the window. When you are really calm, you come back to find a reasonable way to persuade: "If you don't put on your coat quickly, you will be late for the puppet show! You will only see your favorite Pinocchio in the future!
You also need to know:
As adults, they respond to constant changes that take a certain amount of time. The child's reaction is not always possible. So, you want to judge a real heart for reason: is the child too unsuitable? Or you can become a better time to plan, and not be so fussed at this time?
If you know that what we are doing now is deciding what to do or what we are going to do, the child will have a certain influence and will not be particularly willing (for example, because the student has something to do suddenly, you need the teacher to take the child immediately and cannot leave the playground) , Then you can do it, you do n’t have to convince him to follow your decision “willingly”. This persuasive process management is not only the most delaying work time, but also the easiest to push you to the limit of emotions. Let the child calm down his dissatisfaction by himself and balance the development of this frustrated mood. "The more I am too busy to finish the time, the more I keep improving and repeating what I said to him, the repeated nagging of these questions will overwhelm me! How can I make him start to pay attention to my words many times? What about? "
Then you need to:
If you are really tired of nagging and all you have left is yelling and letting the "violation" slip away from your eyes for a while. Of course, this is only a temporary "save" your convenience. At this time, when the child finds you "surrender", he will test your determination and bottom line relentlessly. If the rules they break are not that serious—like eating more sugar on the phone, or you want him to sleep on time (so you can have time to work), but he wo n’t, let him.
You also need to know:
You also ignore the seriousness and discipline of these rules. You can also choose the right time to communicate with your child and tell him: the rules are still rules, because he is always disobedient, leading to constant conflicts between you. Now you are restraining him temporarily, just avoiding contradiction temporarily. But you still insist on your request.
Find time to relax for ourselves. Parents who are nervous and fatigued are often easy to judge the situation and make some mistakes. It is also not easy to come up with a clever way to deal with small things. At the same time, it can also provide help to improve the child's reading comprehension by taking advantage of the opportunities of traveling, playing or taking a walk after a meal. For those who hate him to request, get good communication with the child's development in a relaxed and happy situation.